You'll be in love till it kills you both.

You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver.

But you will never be friends.

I've always believed that writing is like sorcery. Like me, my heroine did not want to lead an ordinary life. She is ambitious, has two men and lives an emotional roller coaster. Like me, she was afraid that when she went to hell there would be no films to watch, no comfortable pajamas to wear, no heavenly sounds of records to be heard--just suffocating boredom.

Weihui (or Coco), ShangHai Baby.




And I'm not sorry I could relate to this at different points of my life. So, either sue me or slut yourself up. 

I guess every now and then I feel the urge to update this lonely space.  Therefore, here I am.


You know, I guess it's because I hardly touch novels anymore, but I feel like I can't seem to write decently any longer. The 140 characters on twitter do not count and it's as if the flair I once had (according to most English teachers in the past) has fluttered away and I'm left with this dry spell for eternity. Which is fine by me. I'll just watch my dream of ever writing a novel (based on my topsy turvy life; sure top seller) flit away as well. 


I have many regrets, 1 more to the list wouldn't kill, I guess.


Anyway, I guess it was written in the stars (well actually, predicted by the Astrologer whom I always see and is always accurate), my life would kind of take a twist this year.


So er, I'm now officially single and the last time I was boyfriend-less was  in 2005 for 3 months and was also always in a relationship before that since I was 16. And I am so not ready to jump into another ship at this point of time.  


I've always been lucky in the sense that I never had abusive nor obsessively unfaithful boyfriends. Even the worst boyfriend knew how to provide at the end of the day. But somehow, just somehow, I have come to a point where I think I've really, truly lost myself. 


I lost myself even further when I found myself in a long distance relationship which lasted almost 2 years. So I guess I had to cut the cord and embrace the world as myself for once. No more invisible strings attached. No more cages. No more shackles. I gave it my all but I really do not have the energy to wait anymore because I know I'll end up killing myself inside if this went on. 


And what amazes me now is how I don't even feel the least bit remorseful for my actions. After all that talk about seeing forever together, I'm actually happier alone. I really am. I guess the Sagittarius in me was bound to implode sooner or later. Or maybe, I just need someone in the same country as me at the very least. What can I say? Out of sight, out of mind. 



So right now I feel as if the world is my oyster. And to be honest, it's a damn good feeling. I'm gonna take my time and have my fun the way I should. Hell, I'm not even gonna look! It really doesn't matter if time is an enemy, but what matters is whether I'm happy or not or if I've finally found what I've been looking for. And truthfully, I like the brand new me already. =)


So that said, yours truly is ready to take on the world, so bring it on, bitch. And remember to give it your best shot!




And as what Samantha Jones would say, 'I love you but I love me more.'

Ok so almost no one reads this anymore and I find blogging redundant half the time already but I just feel as if I need to give this space a virgin 2010 entry. Albeit 4 days late, but better late than never, I suppose.



Anyhoo, hello there! It's 2010 and well, I really wonder what's in store for me this time round.


First things first, I am going to be jobless again. Unless i find a job before my last 2 weeks - 1 month stint is over.


Well, I seem like a job hopper right now, yes because the last few entries (though dated in Aug) were about me being unemployed and job hunting. But really, I'm not. I won't say this job was bad, but I was in a place which was the least systematic, constantly chaotic, and also doesn't offer that justifiable a salary. Well, if you're wondering why I took the job in the first place, it was because I was meant to do sales, hence inclusive of commission.

But I realised I didn't enjoy it very much (since my ego is too big hence I've too much pride to be fake) hence I was given a new role - Business Manager, with a salary which doesn't fit the fancy title at all. Won't go much into that right now, but as I was saying - constantly chaotic. I was fine with the main roles such as keeping track of the accounts, account servicing, eyeing potential clients etc, but I wasn't fine with a disorganized boss throwing random tasks at me, sometimes even ones that were meant for fixing his personal life. And neither was I fine with being constantly told I don't do enough when I seriously have toooo much on my plate. Especially when he's usually the reason I have to slow down in completing certain tasks. The irony.

But you know what? I still am ok with him and the other boss and there's absolutely no resentment despite being shortchanged quite a bit. I have after all, come across worse bosses in the past. And this is one place where the colleagues were the best, ever. I'd say we really bonded and I'm really sad that I have to take my leave soon. Because of them, I love big bikes now and I will never sit on a small bike ever again. Lol. But seriously, if I want a better future and want to live comfortably, this isn't the way to go. And I've got my reasons for quitting without even finding a job first. Not gonna go into it for the 100th time. So there, Miss Zen-Jobless-Law. Lalalalala.

So, since it's the start of 2010, it's also literally the start of the new 'me' - job wise.


I must add though, that 2009 wasn't THAT bad. 



10 Good things about 2009:


1) Had 2 great holidays in Aussie.

2) Had a picture of myself and tagline that was posted on my blog (taken like 2-3 years ago) published in a book that focuses on blogs and emotions. Book was published and launched in New York. (I've always dreamt of writing a book, if it never happens, this will be the next best thing)

3) Was featured in a bike magazine where I got to wear all slutty and pose sexily on the Triumph and there's at least 1 page of just me in it. At least I can look back at it when I'm 50 or something. God knows.

4) Left the stupidest company ever in July.

5) Got a car, though the mum drives it much more and I myself refuse to drive half the time. But a car is still a car.

6) Got a job at this current company and made good friends. (I'm really gonna miss them, bleah)

7) It's been more than a year but Wain & I have endured this Long distance relationship and we're still going strong. (Haha, suckers!)

8) Saved a black kitten just before Xmas. (Haven't been much of a four legged heroine in ages)

9) I'm a much less bitter person. No, really.

10) Got the chance to realise how Great KL and the food there is. Damn, I miss KL already!



And now, 2010 resolutions:


1) Erm. Be less bitchy? Ok whatever.

2) Be more punctual?

3)Stop being an organized mess and just BE NEAT.

4)Be nicer to mummy. Just difficult when 2 relatively aggressive women live under the same roof la ok.

5)Be friendlier. HAHA.

6) Get a job that pays darn well (ok at least well enough for a degree holder)

7) Build up that confidence!!

8) Make it to London!

9) Whatever.

10) Whatever.






Ok done! Maybe I'll blog again in 2011, God knows!! Meanwhile I'll be on my Twitter. But whatever it is, here's to a good year, to me. =)

I'm missing couplehood right now, where I can find solace in another by just hugging him(or her for that matter). Where we can stroll about in town and invade new places like ION together. Where we can plan our meals for the day. Where we can spend the weekends with each other and it doesn't matter if we're stuck indoors because the rest of the world is inexistent. Stuff like that. 





Now I just want you to fly down to me, even if it's just for 2 days because it's just not fair that the rest of the world gets to move except for us.

I start my new job on Tuesday. Things are happening rather fast and yeah, so much for saying I'm happy and enjoying my unemployment! 


So, new doors are opening and opportunities are coming my way. 



But as long as I'm happy with the job scope and salary, I should be able to swing it! 




I am a teeny bit sad that my late nights are now officially over though! Le Sigh....




But whatever it is, I am filled with gratitude.



So....Here's to happy days!!!!



xoxo

It's not a good feeling when the one you need isn't there and doesn't seem or want to understand where you're coming from. 



Are you sure you're worth the wait?




Let me know before I turn my back on you. 

First of all, this isn't dedicated to anyone at the mo. But as my playlist hit this song, certain memories caught up with me and I found no escape. I'm sure many of us can relate to this song one way or another. And man, this will always be one of my favourite songs, ever. So tonight, I'm gonna celebrate the existence of couples/flings that were never meant to be! Haha just kidding. Or maybe not. But seriously, such relationships are everywhere. Dear God, why play punk like that? 



Hello again, it’s you and me
Kinda always like it used to be
Sippin' wine, killing time
Trying to solve life’s mysteries.
How’s your life, it’s been a while
God it’s good to see you smile
I see you reaching for your keys
Looking for a reason not to leave.

If you don’t know if you should stay
If you don’t say what’s on your mind
Baby just, breathe there’s no where else tonight we should be-
You wanna make a memory.

I dug up this old photograph
Look at all that hair we had
It’s bittersweet to hear you laugh
Your phone is ringing, I don’t wanna ask.

If you go now, I’ll understand
If you stay, hey, I got a plan
You wanna make a memory
You wanna steal a piece of time
You could sing a melody to me
And I could write a couple lines
You wanna make a memory.

If you don’t know if you should stay
And you don’t say what’s on your mind
Baby just, breathe there’s no where else tonight we should be-
You wanna make a memory
You wanna steal a piece of time
You could sing a melody to me
And I could write a couple lines
You wanna make a memory
You wanna make a memory




Here's Bon Jovi singing it live.